Adjusting Our Sails

What is the wisdom of changing direction?

Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

“When you can’t change the direction of the wind--adjust your sails,” ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr,

A sailor adjusts the sails and moves with the wind. Not fighting it, but letting it flow around the vessel, avoiding serious damage or loss.

There’s no controlling wind. There’s no controlling life.

Looking back, I can see all the many times life has asked me to adjust my sails.

And each time has set me on a new path.

I think most of these directional shifts have been in the nick of time, too. This includes things like changing jobs, moving to a new town, and selling and buying a home.

Of course, not every course correction has been dramatic. Sometimes adjusting our sales means trying a new pharmacy, shopping at a different market, reconnecting with an old friend, or finding a new way to promote our business.

Small changes like these can open doors, creating unexpected opportunities.

At 74, I’m learning that my control-freakness is of little value and I need to just get over it. I’ve learned that while I may influence some things around me, the most effective work is done within my own sphere of control.

Aging has a way of teaching this lesson, whether we volunteer for it or not.

When do we need to adjust our sails?

Often, the signal to adjust our sails is frustration. When we find ourselves repeating the same actions, having the same arguments, worrying the same worries, and ending each day exactly where we started, that just may be a sign that the wind has shifted.

Adjusting our sails isn’t giving up. It’s responding wisely to what is. We need to adjust our sails when we’re exhausted from fighting reality, and we keep pushing against a situation that isn’t changing no matter how much effort we expend.

Maybe a dream we’ve had is shifting and no longer looks anything like what we imagined.

Maybe our bodies ask us to slow down, or a relationship changes. Perhaps we receive news that changes everything.

These things happen to us all, and adjusting is a healthy and necessary response to life’s changes.

How Do We Adjust Our Sails?

First, we pause long enough to notice the direction of the wind. What is actually happening that we weren’t expecting? Do we WANT to go in this new direction?

If we do, what might happen to our plans? And what happens if we don’t?

Ignoring new realities rarely serves us well. Eventually, life asks us to respond to what is, not what we wish were true.

But we can control our response.

Second, we focus on what remains within our control.

I can choose my attitude and where I place my attention while observing what’s happening.

I can decide what small step to take next. And I can be curious.

Third, we need to become willing to change course.

Sometimes adjusting our sails means letting go of a plan. That can be hard to do when we’ve invested time in it.

Sometimes it means asking for help.

Sometimes it means grieving for what was lost before embracing what might come next.

And sometimes it means discovering that the wind we were fighting is actually trying to carry us somewhere, not just new, but wonderful.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed that life asks for more sail adjustments than I expected. Yet each adjustment has taught me something about resilience, humility, and trust.

The wind will continue to change,

and I’ve learned that the storms will always come.

And I can keep exhausting myself trying to command the wind, or adjust my sails yet again.

Just maybe, THIS is one of the great lessons of aging: not surrendering our power, but discovering our power.

Hello, I’m Michelle McKenzie, a writer and spiritual coach living in Northern California with my husband and three dogs.

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If this reflection spoke to you, I’d love to hear what your body has been whispering lately.

With warmth,

Michelle